i love, i dont.

Thank you JianBin for this lil'cute kitty :D

I received this few days back, but i forgot to blog about her. Hahas.

(: Just look at how cute she was. Heh xP

Anyway! My bad, i didnt make the effort to stay at home for some revision on my upcoming quiz which falls on the fifth. Instead, i went over to xuehong's place, together with others. We'd a great time burning off some fats using Wii. Lol, & we played L4d too! (I just learned yesterday!) Haha,we've make a deal to do the same thing next sunday :D

We then had dinner at hawker & Gelare as dessert after that at citylink. Haha, ice-cream waffle was awesome as usual, so do the new york cheesecake.

:D Oh yummy!

I'd fun today.

Therefore, this is why...

I would think, not only him could draw a smile on my face, in fact.. he don't does that all the time, sincerely.

Love was part of my life, you were once of my everything. The amount of love i put in was dirt to you but everything that i've done, i've gave in this relationship was what i wouldnt be regretting for the entire of my life. (: with love and love ya baby.

Oh, and its monday again tomorrow. Aiya.

the ability to make me love again.

Yesterday, i'd a great time exploring the huge property. That's was my second time in life stepping into sucha huge place. Hah, i sounded really like some mountain tortise.
Anyway, the main thing was that we celebrated eunice's 19th birthday there. I'd a great time with my friends there. Too bad i wasnt be able to join them for the part2 celebration. But still, part1 was fun enough for me to lose all my energy. I felt so exhausted when i reached home.
Well, we'd much pictures, video and balloons at the end of the day!

And i felt so much better with friends around.

I just did a quiz from FB, and this is what i've got.

Pain. For some reason or another you just can't seem to find a positive outlook on life. You get angry when people try to relate with how you feel, because you're convinced they won't understand. Deep down you know there should be a million reasons for people to want to get to know you, but you often find yourself closing yourself off from those around you. You have your select friends, but can't help but want something more. You find opening up difficult, but you do find your ways to let things out. You have your good days, but even through the good times, you feel like there is always going to be those feelings that don't sit right.

Maybe it's time for a try, or rather making a stop.
I totally have no idea what is my decision after so long. You made everything so pointless, making me feel so lousy and makes me thinks that i don't think deep enough. What was promises actually? Does it even exist in life, i doubt so. Each time you promised something, you will never fails to break it. Thats probably your forte. I've tried to put all these aside first for the time being by taking the first step. I will definitely make this go on, cause my aim have changed. What matters more ahead is my studies. & i'm aware that, i've been staying still at this point of my path of life for a very very very long time. Give me some time to sort out everything, i'll be fine. Even if i'm not, i will never let people who love me worried.

Woolala, i'd a last minute cancelled of my job by my boss. Haha. Its so shiok cause i don't have to work in the morning.. but it'll be better if my collegue could inform me earlier just now. Lol.

And oh yes, i'm having pastamania for dinner later on. Yay! :D

I will be back with many pictures, i hope? haha. And i will post all up together after gathering them up. Goodbye for now. I needa take a nap & facebook'ing again! Heh!

Label: Awaiting.

celebration.

Happy Birthday Eunice.

Happy Birthday Kelvin.

(:

The last time.

Happy Belated Birthday to Mum, Jianing & Zhiwei.

& Happy Birthday to Dawn.

Stayed in school with Darl, Thomas & James today, for some discussion on projects and got some econs work done. Felt better after finishing the econs tutorials. Or it'll hunt me in my dreams. Lol, it just happens to be so sucky. I still have 2 more tutorials on Quantitative Skills have yet to be completed.Tsk!

Anyway, Thomas was really too into himself. He was there the whole afternoon, distracting the three of us. He even made James can't focus. Lol, he used my lappy and kept video'ing himself. And he's acting really stupid & funny. Lol.

Work was tiring today cause i didn't have my afternoon nap, lol! And i can't talk much anymore cause i'd three uclers. It's fucking painful please :'(

Each time i thought of it, i held back. Just like how i always do, for the past one year. It just how long and how many times do i have to keep this repeating. I dont have an answer, so do others. They've got no more advices for me anymore.

I'm so tired. I'm afraid i can't hold on anymore. I really can't.

This might get me so insane.

Been thinking & thinking.

But my thoughts are leading me no where. I dont know whats in my mind.

Label: Confusing!

hold me tight.

Looking back to all the reminisces. You havent been doing that at least once. Different people has got an different fate, also different way of treating different people.

God created eyes for us to see. Be it for our own good or allowing us to suffer, it was still an wonderful creation. Sometimes, being observant led you to a situation where oneself couldn't be able to cope it alone.

And i've seen so much, know so much and think so much.

I regretted for being so focus on you, i regretted reading and i hate to see this.

Why was it so different, even a sentence - a simple sincerity

Label: i need something more.

Just pardon me.

I'd a feeling, that it will be so blue tomorrow.
I've not been doing my tutorials, therefore i've got alot to catch up. The worst situation came by when i'd no mood for studying. My cramps is driving me insane. You know, it's just keep going so painfully till i can't figure out which part is the pain from.
Ohmygod! :'(

Okay, i've got to start saving in order to allow my wishes to be grant, HAHAHA!
And i needa sleep early as well, so my complexion could get better i hope. Also, start to go on diet'ing and catching up with school work.

Arhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Why am i feeling so stressful huh? :(
Projects are gonna be submitted in 3weeks time, and i've yet to even touch on it.
Ohmyohmy, this is horrible!

To conclude, soonyan's not enjoying.
So physically and mentally pressurized, unhappy and confusing.

lol.
I'd done enough of rantings, goodnight readers.
<3

Reply of tags

Jj: Lol, yea! But not Jj.
Hahaha!
Kelvin: Ya,duh?! haha, he's only 3months old.. how
much do you expect from him? haha
Winnie: Haha, thanks.
Hmm,yea.. somehow he knows i guessed.
Mabel: Omg, you
finally miss me? lol! yeayea, we can. Fix a day and not just by saying la! Haha!
Eunice: Thanks! You too alright! Call me up if you need someone
to listen to you! :D

i love you,always.

It's friday today, there goes another week. Lunched with classmates at kopitiam and they headed back to school library for some revision while i went to meet up sister after staying for awhile.

I met sister at Outram, together with brotherinlaw and Jayden. Because they were late, i went to get my nails done. You might not get very used to the colours, but im feeling quite good with it. Hah, anyway.. i accompanied them to this chinese sin seh cause Jayden got to go for his massage session. There are far too many babies waiting for their turn, all of them were so adorable. Haha.

Back home for dinner after that, and that's for the day.

I'm feeling so unwell today, the cramps is driving me crazy. Hopefully, i'll be better tomorrow cause it's gonna be quite a long day. Yawns!

i miss you

如果晴天娃娃真的能让人心情开朗，

那有谁可以送我千万只？

Kinda moody out of a sudden, my eyes were feeling really tired but i dont wish let it rest tonight. I need a company. I may be just pms'ing. Idk, i'm just.... just so unhappy?

School is so normal, not as happening like ite,secondary sch or primary school. I'd our very first quiz today and it suck.

Label: Why?

whats with all these written books of life.

Actually, i intended to cut bangs again. But i think i don't want it now. Yes, no. Partly was because of my new hairclip. My pretty pretty hearty clip :D

Anyway, i'd lunch with classmates after school, as usual. But today, we'd a really long walk before we got settled down. And i'm kinda sick of fastfoods now! ): Then we took train to bugis for a lil'shopping, heh. I didnt buy alot today, i sweared. But i felt so torturing leh! :(

okay,no one to blame. I'm just too broke!

Oh my, i've something to add now.

I've been reading and was reading a girl's blog almost everyday. I admired her courage, insistence and probably loyalty too. I started reading since beginning of the year, i think. She wasn't as loyal but she is definitely going for what she wanted with courage. Not to bother about how anybody else thinks about them. The love they're having is strong and that's what which caused me to develop the envious.

Life definitely do suck a lil'more without you around. I may not be able to adapt or even want to get adapt with it. But i believed, life will get worst if friends & family isn't with me all thes while. Seriously, I do feel honoured to have all of them, also feels proud that i once have got you with me. You're so imperfect all the while, for goodness sake. But sometimes, it's all these imperfections of yours led me to so much of missing. Things don't happen too many times, the end of our path have got to arrive someday. Just that, it happened earlier than we expect. Tears might keep flowing, heart might keep aching, mind might keep thinking. But life still need to go on, i don't stop here and wait.

If the miracle day comes once more, i'll see how far our distance is.

Awww, i felt like going for pastamania! Okay, my cliques might go.. " huh, again?" But arh, i just love pasta. Lol, can anybody dine in with me. Hehe.

I also want to watch alot of upcoming movies that are going on screen. Anybody keen to watch too? I just need alot of company. And i'm starting to feel stress in school. I need to really have some gathering, meet ups and fun to release all stress.

Hahahahahahaha!

Kay lah, it's not very serious. I just felt boring to go school and work after school. I just want some colours in life. Not so boring at least, aiya!

Idk what the hell i'm typing. Holyshit,please -,-

Gooodnight readers, i'm turning in!

Cheerios! :D

Definition.

I was late, i just finished the final episode of hot shot. I spent my whole afternoon at home playing with my lappy, sleeping and watching the last three episode. Initially, i don't want to watch it dued to some reason, but i still finished it. Lol. And it's not a perfect ending la.

Anyway, i'd this very scary dream this afternoon. So scary till i woke up from it. I even went breatheless in the dreams you know. I kept shouting like fuck in the dream. Lol! Ask me when you meet me, i will tell you about it. If telling will help it from not coming true. Hah!

It's monday again tomorrow, it's school again.

Soonyan needa do some assignment now before she sleeps (:

Goodnight people! ^^

one year later

We went there to see you today, i hope we could feel that we're there. All of us misses you so much, so much. I still remembered that we were messaging happily last year during this time. We even promised to meet. But you break it, like always. And i'm not gonna forgive you this time. Oh well, i still can't find lemon-flavoured lollipops after so long. I can't get back our lil'memories.

Label: Vanished, like you.

baby, why did you go?

I went there with fear, hoping our eyes doesn't meet at all. I felt really worried when i was on my way. My eyes stared into the space, my mind went running through all everything that happened before, my heart beats faster than i used to, my hand went trembling, my stomach went aching and my whole body went weaken. I wasn't being exaggerate, thats the truth and it really got so serious, like before. I told myself that i shall remain calm and act normal even if our eyes caught each other's. But i failed to do so, all of them.

I went out of my mind just now, i felt lost and i've got a urge too. I wished to have more than a glance but i do not have the courage to hold on even longer. At that point of time, i realised the weakness i'd between. And i know, all these while my intention hasn't been changing. My wish hasn't changes, miracle is still what i wanted the most. Similar happiness is my wants and all those similar nightmares is what i hope not to be happen.

The place is so big and yet god's being so cruel to me.

Just tell me, tell me why.

伟大的妈妈们，

Happy Mummys' day!

to my mum, to ben's mum, cliques' mum and yourhis mum (:

SHOUTS!

i'd a top secret and i think i'm quite a big eater, it's also quite scary.

i bought a pack of mini steam bun few days back, i simply love eating that.

and know what? i ate ten of it on the day itself. Yea, ten mini bun. lol!

okay, thats so random.

i'm very drowsy now, i needa take a nap.

ciao!

(: Graduation day, orientation

Oh yes, i'm back from all my events!

My sickness got me into a really bad situation back then. Its torturing, so much. And at that point of time, mummy was nice enough to sponge me through the night. I felt really touching, heart warming and loved too. But i was having an heartache at the same time, cause i wish you were just right beside me, comforting me with care and concern, with love too. Even just a word from you will actually enough. Kay, that was just a dream, a miracle. It can never happen again.

Oh wells, on a happier note, events have gone well. And i would say, that's a beautiful ending and a wonderful starting. Graduation day was great. Seeing all my friends up on stage, i felt happy. Finally, all of us graduated after two great years with classmates around. Not all attended, but most in the cliques were there. All of them were well-dressed, looking gorgeous and charming (:

Lunch buffet was yummy, but we didnt have alot. Instead, we've got a treat from JianBin at BaliThai. That's oh-so-delicious. A lil'sad cause i was sick and couldn't taste it thoroughly. Still, we'd a great meal. Darl and i headed for shopping trip after that, till the sun set (:

As for today, orientation marks the start of a new chapter. Wasn't fun, cause the talk is really dozing me off. Hah, but still there is a lil'funny parts which i wouldnt deny. But school has got alot of events or clubs as our entertainment. Oh, i'm quite looking forward to it as before. Arite, think i'd typed alot already. I will end here and enjoy the follow pictures below.

Foods we'd in Bali Thai .

Gy's Bday celebration.

This cute barney which darl found somewhere at orchard was really pathetic to be bullied by the guys. See how bad they are. And barney didnt followed any of us home at the end of the day :(

Graduation Day!

Darling! (:

Guangye! (:

Elin (:Pretty sis!

Kel.Winnie.JianBin

Ms quah.

Cheerios!

): i'm feeling hot.

Oh my damn god shit. I'm running down with fever, high fever. I still have running nose, a lil sore throat, bodyache and headache. I always hate to be sick, to feel so weak and i'm even more sad this time cause i can't have macdonalds breakfast tomorrow :(

Oh my, i just hope that i will be totally fine by tomorrow morning. Please.

P.S: Mummy's the best

sentosa trip on thursday! :D

I only post 9 out of 87 pictures.

Anyway,
Happy Birthday Daphne! (:

messy.

I'm feeling better today, i hope i will be like this everyday. I just hate to have moodswing, hate to feel that way. When can life be as carefree as how we're during childhood days?

Last week was an relaxing week for me, by the way. I think i didn't mentioned where i went and what i did even i've blogged. I know, i know. I've been breaking promise and kept blogging about miserable stuff. But i'll also blog about something happier after i've receive all those pictures - i'd problem receiving them anyway :( So, it may take sometime. Haha, meanwhile just pardon me with wordy post arite. Well well, i've done lots of shopping recently and i'd addicted to it already. I still have many more clothings wanting to buy. Hehe. Therefore, i needa earn more bucks :X

Well, i love pictionary. My new board game, an birthday gift from xuehong. It's really really fun, i got so excited while playing and i'm so in love with it :D Anyway, i'd dinner at ben's place last saturday, an fabulous dinner

Now, i'm awaiting for school. Meeting new friends, graduation day, orientation and more meet up session with all my friends :) I also want shopping session too! I want that jacket, give me more good comments on it. I want more tops! More, everything more! Hahahaha!

Kaykay, i'm really tired now. Work was busy today, so busy!

I want to sleep now!

Cheerio! :)

allow me to cry out loud.

The connection is shit and computer suck big time.

Now, i'm having this fucking moodswing, its making me really pekcek. Oh fuck, arh fuck you.

Anyway, Happy Birthday Guangye!

Hope you've enjoyed the lil'celebration (:

Okay, i'm not happy at the end of the day. I'm really not.

Wasn't because of anything related to the celebration.

Sigh, am just not feeling good totally. Don't ever claimed that you understands. That wasn't what i wanted. Don't start drawing out all the plans to me cause i seriously don't want to be involved in it. I hate it, somehow. And i sweared.

In fact, in addition, everything was a lie. Replies were really carefree, but it was words afterall. I've been putting an act all the time, and i'm not gonna let this continue anymore. I'm sick of wearing this mask. And i don't wanna keep on lying. I'm tired of everything -.-

If you're smart enough, don't have to ask. But its too bad if you're not as clever.

life is super fucked up.

Nabeh.