Represent.

离开不会太悲伤

有些心情该释放

直到眼泪它自己落下

才发现骗不了自己

其实很爱你

现在学着去遗忘

躲开有你的地方

回忆被谁放在书架上

把他从最高的地方落下

感动越是深刻

寂寞就越伤人喔

每个人的心里都

会有一段伤痕

像白纸的天真

仿佛被你伤得好深

相爱不需要理由

离开也没有理由挽留

永遠在身邊

心跳

其实很爱你

It was all taken for granted.

21march!
Went pooling&buffet @Sakura International!

25march!

Went pooling, kbox & swensens for dinner.

27march!
:D There're more pictures, i didnt post them because i looked even sucker in those pictures.
Lol, so do forgive me about that.

Ohmyohmy, i'm offically twenty now.
-,- i dont like it.

Label: It was the 2nd year.
Do you know how terrible it feels? i doubt so.

Tags replies.

You left me hanging. I gave tons&tons of reasons for myself,you& us. I tell myself lots of comforting words to make it all better. But when things come to sucha situation, no words could even make it perfect anymore. And yes, i'll be regretting making sucha decision the rest of my life, forever.

I don't feel any better actually. But there is no point for me to be looking so sadly infront of all of you. Well friends, don't needa worry anymore. I won't appear to be not okay infront of you.

Oh wells.

Happy20th, HappyBirthday Jj! :D

Replies!

Andy* Heh, thanks (: And yayaya, you're right.
I'll i'll, i will be smiling like that day each time we meet kay. See ya on the
3rd! Remember to cook me plenty of foods! :D

Eunice* Yea, thankyou so much babe.
Loveya.

Winnie* I'm glad to receive your oh-so-yummy
cuppycakes too! :D

Jj* Yaya! You're one the them too. Thankyou
horoscopemate :D I hope you've enjoyed yourself today. See ya on the 3rd
too!

Kelvin* Haha, ya! We're looking young too! And
thanks for the gift from all of you! I'll probably bring it on the 3rd. Maybe
have to buy many many boxes of films. Lol! See ya!

Xiaoyue* Alright, thankyou!

Tianhong* :D thanks!

Back!

Hey! I'm back from that lil' heart-warming celebrations! :D Tell you, i can't put myself to the emo soonyan because they're simply too nice. The only bad was i wore the wrong shoes, or we'll be going haji lane for more pictures! Anyway, we'd the oh-so-nice steamboat with fried bun for dinner. Mango cake for dessert. Andand, big lizard greeting me "HappyBirthday" too. Lols, what else? We still had drinks at tcc and photo taking session outside the Ritz apple strudel store. (: There're total of 4 digital cameras which can snap till your eyes go blurred. lol

We then headed home early cause i've got to work almost the whole of tomorrow. And steamboat after work is over. Wheeeeeee, food are loved while fats are the hates.

Anyway, i got cuppycakes from ryl&winnie, an polariod in pink from the rest of my cliques in class, a wristlet&many mini gifts from darl & Perfumes from Guangye! Hahs, the polariod is totally loved i tell you. Am gonna get myself an notice board soon! Heh. And I want powershotE1 so much. The results of the pictures is oh-so-beautiful.

Okays, am gonna turn in now. My pretty legs are super tired&painful after all the walks. Haha, my poor legs. Oh lastly, i will post up all the pictures soon. Yea, real soon after i got them all.

I'm sad but i'm happy too.

(: I'd fun today. And although i'm old at my age but never in my heart!

Alrightye, byebye readers!

thankyou!

I'd tons of wishings, but well i guess it somehow got lesser or more. Hm, no idea. Didn't count them one by one, year by year. Hah.Anyway, i've done two dumbest things yesterday. One, was to send an forward message to this old number. Yea, an unused number but a worth remembering person. And yes, its the past you. How stupid yea? But nevermind okay. Cause i'm crazily in love with the very special you. Minus of those hurtful memories.

Well well, am having celebration later on of cause. And i just realised, i'm gonna be having 2days of steamboat for dinner. Oh my oh my, how am i going to continue with my diet. Tsk, thats why i hate temptations. Walau.

Anyway,

i've got people wishing me on msn, call, right at my face, smses, blogs and even tags! (: thanks for remembering & also thanks for not remembering. I appreciated all.

Hmm, lets name them out kay.

My place: Gohliping&BenjaminSoh @12am! Brother,mummy, sisterinlaw later on. & Alwyn, Simin.

Smses: Darl, Guangye, Jj, Jiaying, Jianbin, Kel, Ryl, Dawn, Qiliang, KaixiangGoh&Yap, Liting, Meishan, Andy, Elin, Melissa, Sister, Brotherinlaw, Zhiwei, Xiaode, Derek, Bestie, Xuehong!

Facebook/Friendster: Linda, SzeEn, Mabel, Jacksen, Cck, Guanzhong, Hajar, GohLiping, Xiaode, Chiawei

Msn: Jasmineyeo, Jeslyn, Christine, Winnie

Blog: EUNICE KOH! GohLiping! Winnie, Liting

Phonecall: BENONI TEOH!

Tags: Wanyu, Liwen, Eunice, Huishian, Ahyi, Chiawei

Will add on if there are more (:

Eunice, i hope you see this.

Thank you so much for that post, i will save it and remember it. I don't deny that i felt touched and suprised about it. Regardless of how rare we meet, how not often we chat and how distanced we are. You're still aware of all about my daily life, my sorrows and my aches. And for the first time, i teared on my birthday itself. Also surprisingly, the tear don't come
because of anything else but words. Your say were perfectly right and made me regretted for not knowing you well enough. And i think you're stronger than me in many ways. If i'm not wrong, you've too gone through what im going through now, and you've managed to stay strong and get up from that fall. Your courage was what i admired. And lastly, i'll try my very best to not post anymore sad entry. But if i still do, pardon me. Alright, hope to see you soon if there's any meet ups among en&co. Provided i'm there too :D

Lets bygones be bygones and start anew. All the worth remembering memories will never be forgotten. Regardless of what ships we're having, you'll still be as special as before. I may not be able to let go, but i will never stop trying. Everything will be the same, no hatred from you i hope. Cause there'll never be that in my dictionary. No idea if something similar will be happening again anot further down the road. But i will still want to say, love ya forever (:

Take great care.

Choice.

you've chosen since *&#$%^@ months ago.

i was being fucking damn naive.

damn it shit.

i couldn't believe, really couldn't believe that....

i'm tearing for you still.

Anyways, anything&&whatever.

Eyes were watery, nose felt sour.

And no worries, you'll never sucky forever.

selfishness.

It've been days. I thought alot everyday. Be it positive or negative thoughts, doesnt matter anyway now. Received a few comments, almost were the same. And there are too much if, too much prossibilities. Too many that i felt that i should stop thinking, stop wondering and stop dwelling. I've no idea if you are reading like you often does. That doesn't matter too cause sympathy wasn't the wish.

If you have been reading, it will be pretty obvious that i wasn't okay. Nothing to deny with that. I've said, i really don't wish to. Whatever is going to happen next, i've no longer got the right to do or say anything. I was in the wrong in the very first place. I may have taken this wrong step. And yes, for the rest of my life, i will be holding this bloody regret if things doesnt get better.

Holidays is getting boring. I've finished that stack of dvd at home. And i think i've finished it too fast. Now i'm left with that small stack to continue when my holidays are still so long to go -.- I'm gonna die soon. Yea, boredom kills. Friends are all busy, outings got lesser. Work loads isn't adding up either. I've got nothing else to do in the day. Arhhhh!

love.

Sucha loser, weakest person of all. Neither am i independent nor having confidence. I'd enough, seriously. I'm stepping back to how i was during my year one in school. The period where i hated the most. This time, it's worst. How i wished everything will be a dream and i'll be waking from it the next moment realising everything is still with me. And i know, this can never happened. I'm running out of courage, i've been sending and sending, texting and texting. Sometimes, i'm just too afraid to see any reply. But i do hope for a reply, with better words in it.

I thought using up all the energy in me would do a lil' help in me feeling better. I was wrong to think that way. Nothing will gets me into a better situation other than you. I dont want any harmful words or sorries again. I don't want all those sentences i saw during septemberzeroseven. Don't create another nightmare.

Sigh, i'm sorry.

Well, i'm feeling really tired these days. Holidays suck like before.

And i hate birthdays.

please.

Colours are fading each days.

I love rainbows, adores rain, afraid of thunders and dislike sunny days partially. And life is not an fairytales, there wouldn't be an happy ending all the time & i just wish, there will be a miracle happening once again. Sigh.
Rainbows are pretty, but it wouldn't last.

Well, its really aching. If continuously aching would make a better outcome, i rather swallowing all these aches.

Mu biao si hu hao xiang duo yi yang, ke shi ge zi ban yan de jiao se que bu zai yi yang le. Ke yi shi yi yang de ma?

<3you.

Amount of courage dropped somehow with all the seen evidence. And for whatever that is hidden, i can only doubt helplessly with all my wild thoughts. In fact, things has gotten so serious somehow and probably too late to amend them now. Many times, i would tell myself trust, trust and more trust. But, everybody will know that you need two hands in order to clap. Well, i'm not trying to blame anyone here. I'm just trying to... okay, forget it. Typing doesnt make things any better.

I can just hope for a better change, a better outcome, an happier ending at the end. Needless to say, you know what i wanted the most all these while. Its once a promise which i took it so damn fucking seriously.

Anyway, happy birthday Benoni.

dream.

i'd a dream just now. Yea, an unpredictable one. For the first time, maybe the last. So true, just like an 3d movie. Too real that i can't believe it's a dream. But when i was awake, everything vanished. Yup, i couldn't deny now. It made me so clear with the doubts and i miss you so much, suddenly.

It may be or can be just me who are day dreaming.

Your words tells it all, you action proven all perharps.

speechless

Failure totally - everything will remain the same, hundred percent the same. No changing, still as stupid, as dumb and as naive as before but a lil'smart of cause (: I know it myself. I've been losing since then, enough. I don't want to be like that again. Yea, not again. If you think i'm not fine, yes. I'm not. Seriously not. Don't ask me why if you're not close with me. Even if you're, think before you ask. Cause i'm speechless, if you noticed my title above.

Well, i still thank you so much i must say. For all that i've been feeling.

I don't regret in everything i do, not at all. The only thing i regret may be what i've done today. But i wasn't allow to choose actually. Arh, come on soonyan. Distract yourself in order to save yourself.

(:

I'm so tired today, why? I've no idea. I dont hate anybody, cause i hate myself even more. Yea, just myself. Anyway, results will be exactly shown some othe days. Not today yet. Maybe a different miracle will be happening other than whatever im thinking now. Okay, at least i fucking seriously hope so.

Can you at least tell me if i was wrong. And make everything back to normal.

Label: Okay, fucking painful you know.

):

I can't stand anymore. I seriously hate the taste of the medicine. Damn, it's bitter. I've got no idea why it take so long to recover this time. 2weeks have passed, 3rd one coming and i'm still coughing. Not as serious though, but it's sucha torture when you've to drink something hot when you're under the hot sun -,- What's more? Mummy have been making the oh-so-sour drink for me almost everyday. She said it helps in cough & throat. But arh, i don't like taking sour stuff therefore, i'm totally turned off by that.

Okay, please. I seriously want this to stop. I'm sick of coughing everynight.

Anyway, reason for not looking forward to it, wasn't because i'm turning twenty la please. Lol. I love turning to twenty soon, because there won't be an twenty-first if you dont go through twenty. Am i right? Hah. But still, twenty sounds old too la. So, i'm not totally happy with twenty either. Okay, i can't make up my mind i know. Nowadays, i got so fickle minded in all sorts of decision.

Label: was that sentence meant for me? or somebody else?

Sigh.

birthday.

It's the first time, i'm not looking forward to this day. Probably because of you, all the mood were gone. If wasn't my fucking character inside. The mood will be there for sure. Oh, what the fuck is this. I hope i've got a better personality. Aiya, i'm sick of that somehow. Nevermind~ this is really random.

Anyway, many have blogged about the 2years in college east. And i like jj's post alot. Hahas, really funny with those captions there. Especially, last year's 020308. Cheryl's very wonderful or rather nightmare birthday.

happy birthday daddy.

Boredom.

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education:

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

This is crap. Lol! How true can it be? Only people around, understands me will be more clear? Oh whatever.

Anyways, holidays can be boring too. So friends, please do ring me up if there're any meet ups! Yes, any! :D Or i'm gonna die at home soon, hahahas. And gone emo, lol.

I'm sad because i've yet to receive my long-waited birthday present.

Okays, on a happier note. I've bought myself an advance birthday present :D! It's equally to an huge hole in my wallet/bank. Hahs, don't tell me if there is a drop in the price please. I'll go crazy over this if you do.

:D Haha.

all the time.

it's all full of i dont know.

Label: Happy Birthday Kenneth!

where big smile starts

Yay! Holidays starting from today cause it's the last day, last paper. Hurrray! :D It's totally happiness for me, i've been waiting for this day for 2years. Teehehe, soonyan'd graduated from that freaking school.

Oh wells, i dont really hate there actually. Environment, foods, entertainment and friends were all pretty good for me over there. The only thing which suck big time was some personal issue & lecturers of cause. Oh, not all by the way. Cause anniekoh was really fun-loving.

Aiya, afterall it's still something to be worth celebrating. Although i'm not gonna be getting awesome results a month later. Tsk, whatever it is.. stress has over. Yea, over! Time to relax, meet ups, enjoy, sleep more and work more! lol, cause i'm so broke nowadays. Walau, thanks to the 1month of stop work -,-

I'm gonna dig out alot of money. I need them badly. Lols, not because im money minded. Reason being was, i've alot of stuff to buy. Furthermore, i've the urge to go shopping again :D Hee, don't start tagging me and scold me about wasting money shopping hor. Every girls will be very keen to pamper themselves.

(: and i miss baby. He have been busy with idk what recently.

Also, chill baby. Your auto replied message was realllllllly fierce please :(

Okay, entries are getting wordy wordy and more words. Dont blame me, i've got a really lousy computer which i doesnt want it to be too. Hah, and i cant upload anything when the damn usb is unfix-able.

Arite, my cramps are getting worst. Gotta rest now, beauty sleep is a must now.

oh, waitwait. I can't forget this although you may not be able to see.

But still, Happy 20th birthday suvin!

kay,bye!

how pain? ask the heart.

I never knew it will be so scary. Being panic was the first time ever feel i'd in the whole of nineteen years. I wanted it to be handed up beautifully, unlike two years back. Everything was written untidyly and empty. But with the knowledge i'd now, i beg for a miracle. I'm serious. I wasn't perfect at work for these two bad years i've been through. It's the luck that bring me along and moving on.Therefore i felt really thankful to have this lil'bit of lady luck.Hopefully, it bring me through for the next three days, two papers. Get it done soon, and leave that place. No matter where i'm gonna be landing next month, i will just accept it. Like how i accepted the other time. Yea, pretty discourging for me to be typing this, but arh... this is life what. Am i right? Tehehe.

Anyway, brother was being great. He got the computer fixed and promised to find ways to reformat it to save my trouble and assets in getting a perfectly new one. How nice could he be? Hahs. He's always there to clear up my mess in this sort of technical relations stuff. Lets hope he'll be able to get it fixed, thoroughly. Lol

Okay, i'm being wordy. But i kinda like this recently. Hah, don't blame me lah. I've got no new pictures. Furthermore, i can't upload pictures either. So, if you're bored. Just stop reading (:

And the worst thing ever which happened to me this month was to be sick for weeks without getting better. Those medicines suck, doesnt seems to be working. Oh man -.-

One more to add, you got me so depressed yet so loved. I don't know what's this leh. I'm aching.

Okokay, think i'm getting older and so being naggy. Lol

I'm ending here. Gonna be back to that dinning/study table to mug. Hahahaha.

(: Goodbye readers.

Note: Qq'ian! All the best tomorrow kay!

As for all of you!

Lols

you suck at times.

This is madness, really. The world will be somehow awesome for me if we dont have to mug like an idoit. Haha. Okay, i must be dreaming! That will never ever happens.

Anyway, you've got a really nice character in everyone's eyes. But never totally perfect in mine. Cause you can be suck either. Because you doesn't give a damn about many stuff, so everything left unchange. And this got me really pissed all the time. Arh, what can i do? I chose it, i want it and i let it be.So, no one else could i be blaming. I can only be sitting infront of this shittest computer of mine and start typing all my rants here. Aiya, this is random lah. I've got nothing else to write so, nonsense came about.

I shall get my computer fix soon. It's getting worst, really. If you were on my seat using this lousy unliving thing, you'll be cursing like a crazy fellow.

Oh wells. When things got haywire, you felt the world is @#$%^&*!

hahaha.

It's work again tomorrow morning.

sigh.

a few days more!

Seen a doctor yesterday and took medicine after my heavy supper. lols, and because the medicine was causing me to be too drowsy, i fell asleep while doing accounts. I can only be clear in mind many hours later. But thankfully, it helps the cough to reduce a little :D

Actually, the doctor was being exaggrate. He gave so much medicine for two sickness.

I almost puke while swallowing. Haha.

Hopefully by exam starts, my health will be back to normal. If not i won't be able to have fun after exams are over. Also, a gain in cash please. I'm getting so broke recently! #@*&^!

Anyway, i wasn't very mentally and physically prepared actually.

And i think, i still have got plently of papers to be complete before i'm entering the exam hall.

Aiya.

whats the problem with you?

bad weathers.

sneezing & coughing away.

throat is getting dry.

head is getting heavier.

-.-

Anyway,

Happy 20th to Cheryl.

(:

Enough.

Stop whining to me whatever that happened.

If you goes on and on again, i will break down i guess.

sigh, stop it. Will you? Please.

Okay, i was wrong to be so mean like this.

But, i've got nothing to reply you when all your whining came about.

I'd enough, really.

The exams are enough to kill, dont add on more.

You'll feel like shitting this piece of world,

when you don't know who to go to.

And if all these entries bore you.

Block this web.